a stranger sense of being

Why is it that when I express feelings of disappointment, dissatisfaction, frustration and annoyance at my life or things which occur throughout my day, my parents feel the need to say to me in their condescending tone… “That’s Life, Dear”.

Really! Have I been living in an alternate universe for the past 25 years? Oh no, maybe I was just born five minutes ago. “Hey, Have you seen my rock? I’ve seemed to have misplaced it”.

Now, I’m no Einstein, but I’m pretty sure I’ve gathered that life ain’t a box o’ chocolates. In fact, I am well aware of how crappy life can be.

Is it just me or do parent’s seem to always underestimate their children and their views of the world around them. I’ve come to realise that my parents, know absolutely nothing about me or what I go through every single day. Sure, I may play some part in their absolute cluelessness, but the truth of the matter is that I’m not one to open up to anybody much less my parents and frankly as my parents, they should know this.

As of late it seems I’m beginning to resent my parents for the life I’ve lived. It might sound harsh, but I honestly don’t think my parents really tried with me. They never sat me down and tried to get me to open up. Knowing me as an only, lonely child, quiet and shy, they never even encouraged me to involve myself in anything. I mean ok, they tried once or twice and i acquiesced but they never encouraged me to find out about myself and develop my interests. I was never place in any extra curricular activities. Funnily enough, the one time I spent the summer at a swimming camp I learn’t how much I love swimming and now you can;t keep me from water if you tried. But after that…nothing. They just let me float. All my life I’ve been floating; and now I’ve come to the point where I am desperately trying to find myself.

And now, they patronise? Really, oh if they only knew.